WC Semifinal Preview: India vs Pakistan - It's on, and other pre-game words.

Monday, March 28, 2011 , , , , , No Comments

Here it is. The match. The one we've all been waiting for, hoping for, it's finally here. The game that thousands of dormant "cricket fans" suddenly wake up and try to hijack from those of us who had calendars marked for all its potential dates of occurrence long before the World Cup began. A game so highly anticipated, that it is believed by some (there's gotta be some) that India and Pakistan both conspired to be knocked out early in 2007 in order to double the anticipation for this encounter.

Now, it's probably stupid to use logic to predict who could win this, but my Stats guy Inna Curate informs me that India and Pakistan have met 463 times in World Cups, and India has won all those games by 10 wickets or 200+ runs, even when it rained. But silly stats aren't predictive in this case, so let's not take them into account, impressive as they may be.

The Captains: Afridi and Dhoni

South Africa and Ch**ing

Friday, March 25, 2011 , , , , , , , No Comments

Okay. It's a cheap shot. And also a reasonable explanation. Darth Vader is All Black after all.


WC Quarterfinal Preview: India vs Australia

Wednesday, March 23, 2011 , , , , , No Comments

When India was playing the West Indies in the Group stages, we knew that they were going to play one of 2007's finalists based on the result.

Four years ago, we would've picked the Lankans as our preferred opponent without thinking twice. When I say 'we', I am obviously referring to Indian supporters, because neutrals would probably enjoy an India-Australia match more. Such has been Australia's decline, that we'd rather play them than Sri Lanka now, and our success against them at home is something else you can throw into the mix. Also, I'm sick of Sri Lanka, because of how much we played them last year. Then there's the big one - the potential India-Pakistan semifinal - but that's looking a little too far ahead. So I won't talk about the India-South Africa final, or the Twenty20 World Cup in 2020.

So much to look forward to... Ponting's imminent rubbishness, Harbhajan vs all Aussies, Sehwag and Sachin, Navjot Singh Sidhu vs Saurav Ganguly, Steve Smith being stuffed into a locker, and much more.

The Captains: Ponting and Dhoni
Now we can expect (or at least hope for) a turning pitch in Ahmedabad, perhaps similar to the one where India beat Australia in the warm-up game. If that is the case, Chawla (incidentally the hero of that game) could return to side at the expense of Yusuf and Raina, because Sehwag will be back too. If just one batsman has to be dropped (which I don't think should happen) then it might be Yusuf, because he has been, if I may say so in Latin, a 'Failurus Colossus', scoring 74 runs in 6 innings. Gambhir drops back down to #3 and the #4 problem resurfaces, when there shouldn't be one. It's simple enough - don't mess around with Kohli. Bat him at #4 or #5, but no lower. Failurus Colossus does NOT need to bat higher, while Raina is all thumbs-up with wherever he bats. And my suggestion for the batting Powerplay? Take it as early as possible if Sehwag sticks around.

On a slow track, Lee will be the biggest threat because he has enough variations, and Johnson has a decent slower one as well, but the top order should have no problems taking them and Tait on. Krezja is a buffet bowler. Steve Smith crossed the "step-forward-if-you-can-bowl" line by the thinnest of margins.

As for the Aussie batting: Watson and Haddin are their leading scorers, with 265 and 279 runs respectively, and 3 fifties each. Clarke has 225 runs but has only been dismissed twice. Hussey remains the pivotal piece of their middle order. White was given a tour of the batting crease by someone else, and he took pictures to remember how it looks. Steve Smith... just look at the info on his bowling above and apply it to his batting.

My picks: Sehwag and Sachin, Gambhir, Harbhajan, Ponting, Clarke, Johnson.

Ideal line-ups (for me):

India: Sehwag, Sachin, Gambhir, Kohli, Yuvraj, Dhoni (c)(wk), Harbhajan, Ashwin, Chawla, Zaheer, Munaf.

Australia: Haddin (wk), Watson, Ponting (c), Clarke, White, Hussey, Smith, Johnson, Krezja, Lee, Tait.

Official-looking prediction: India to edge a low-scoring game. Spin will rule. At least two people will cry on the field.

WC Preview: India vs West Indies

Friday, March 18, 2011 , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

Finally. The last match of the awesomeness that was Group B.

Drama, injury, close games, tears, backstabbing, wardrobe malfunctions, weave-pulls, wine chucked in faces, and superb dance moves. But enough about England, this is India v West Indies.

The Captains: Sammy and Dhoni

This game will be pretty much a dead rubber if Bangladesh doesn't beat South Africa, because India is already through and it would take a very large defeat for the West Indies' NRR to fall below Bangladesh. So here's hoping the Banglas win, to ensure that the Windies have something riding on that last game. It will also mean that my pre-WC prediction, that the Banglas qualify ahead of the Windies, has come true. That looks as likely as... something highly unlikely.

Expert analysis aside, India hasn't beaten a Test side in the World Cup yet, apart from Bangladesh. This could and should be an easy win - if James Tredwell and Ravi Bopara can choke the Windies, just think of what Harbhajan and Ashwin could do! No seriously, I'm backing Harbhajan in this game to the extent of picking him in my Fantasy team with my one remaining transfer, and I intend to make him the captain too. As far as Ashwin goes, he could be as hittable as Chawla. Everyone wants him to play just because he hasn't played and got thrashed yet, unlike the others. The cloak of mystery is probably why he should play. Proof - Imran Tahir, James Tredwell, Devendra Bishoo, Ajit Agarkar (find the odd one out). He still has to bowl well, though. Crap on a stick won't get you wickets.

The game is being played in Chennai (another sign for Ashwin), a very good place for Sachin and spinners. It is going to be a fresh pitch apparently, so it could be another high-scoring game. It will be anyway if India bats first, but Gayle looked in a particularly rapish mood against England, so expect a close, exciting contest for about 15 overs. Brian Bravo has been underwhelming so far, as has the rest of the order - a good score will depend entirely on Pollard, IPL teammate of Harby and (formerly) Zaheer.

My picks for the game:  Harbhajan, Sachin, Ashwin, Yuvraj, Gayle, Bravo, Benn.

Ideal line-ups:

India: Sachin, Sehwag, Gambhir, Kohli, Yuvraj, Dhoni (c)(wk), Harbhajan, Ashwin, Chawla, Zaheer, Nehra.

West Indies: Gayle, Chanderpaul, Bravo, Sarwan, Pollard, Sammy (c), Thomas (wk), Russell, Benn, Bishoo, Roach.

Official-looking prediction: India to win with ease. High-scoring game. There will be 4 celebrities in the crowd.

TV in front of me, which seat should I take?

WC Preview: India vs South Africa

Friday, March 11, 2011 , , , , , No Comments

This is a big game. A huge game. A Game.

Obvious statements aside, both these potential champions haven't come even close to peaking, and have had the same problems that everyone expected them to have. For India, bowlers not named Zaheer continue to be unthreatening, and they only seem to field well when the heat is up to saunatic temperatures. [Note: two words in that sentence aren't in the dictionary.] South Africa's issues are sort of Oesophageal - that is a much more polite way of describing their woes than the phrase "the C-word", which can often mean something pretty offensive.

The Captains: Biff and Dhoni

The last time India played South Africa, the series ended in a 3-2 win for the latter, but India were without half the batting order and Zaheer Khan. Considering that and the fact that India are playing at home, clearly the advantage is with India South Africa no one. Most of the South Africans are familiar with the conditions, some more than the others. Amla, ABdV and Duminy are all in good form if you ignore their loss to England. 

India's batsmen have all scored runs too, they have needed to. This could be a massive run-fest, but of course that might depend on the pitch again. Plenty of stuff to watch out for in today's game: Biff vs Zak, Amla vs probability, Chawla vs Ashwin, Yusuf vs the ball, Harby vs failure, all Saffa batsmen vs pie-chucker.

My picks to succeed are Sehwag, Sachin and Kohli for India, and Kallis, Duminy and Steyn for South Africa. [those are completely random]

Ideal line-ups:

India: Sehwag, Sachin, Gambhir, Kohli, Yuvraj, Dhoni (c)(wk), Pathan, Ashwin, Harbhajan, Zaheer, Munaf,

South Africa: Smith (c), Amla, Kallis, deVilliers, Duminy, du Plessis, van Wyk (wk), Botha, Steyn, Morkel, Tsotsobe.

Official-looking prediction: India to win a runfest comfortably. Or South Africa will just edge a low-scoring game.

Kamran Akmal - Catch 'em all

Friday, March 11, 2011 , , , No Comments

If you turned every idea you had into a comic, most of them would turn out somewhat like this.

Obviously you need to know your Pokemon theme song to enjoy this better.

Click to enlarge (note: this also increases the size of Kamran's face)


WC Preview: India vs the Netherlands

Tuesday, March 08, 2011 , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

This will be India's last game against one of the minnows - unless, of course, one of them manages to qualify for the quarter-finals. So this is basically India's last chance to get their bowling attack right and fix any issues with the team, because every game after this is a big one, starting with South Africa on Saturday.

The captains: Borren and Dhoni
Now the Netherlands scored 290+ against England, which may make you think that they could score more against our worse attack, but it's not the same case. It's possible, and it will entirely on Ryan ten Doeschate, Tom Cooper and Bas Zuiderent, but India's part-timers should have good control over this. I say part-timers because the frontline spinners have been the opposite of spectacular. I don't know what the word is, but I believe the Swahili term is "crap".

Chawla bowled some great variations against England and Ireland, mixing up the bad balls with terrible balls quite well. So he should keep his spot. But again, I wouldn't be surprised to see Ashwin, Nehra or Agarkar in the line-up either. Dhoni's keeping everyone guessing by playing his cards close to his barrel.

As for the batting, Sehwag might want to bat 50 overs again, though I don't think he will. I sense big innings from Gambhir and Kohli, with attacking contributions from the lower middle order. You'd better believe it - my predictions tend to be right when I don't watch the game.

Ideal line ups (for me):

India: Sehwag, Sachin, Gambhir, Kohli, Yuvraj, Dhoni (c)(wk), Pathan, Chawla, Harbhajan, Zaheer, Nehra.

Netherlands: Kervezee, Barresi (wk), Cooper, Zuiderent, ten Doeschate, de Grooth, Borren (c), Bukhari, Seelaar, Loots, Westdijk.

Official-looking prediction: India will crush them. Or not. But probably.

PS. Chawla has been a disaster.

WC Preview: India vs Ireland

Saturday, March 05, 2011 , , , , , , , , No Comments

Two weeks ago, if you had said that the India-Ireland game might be an even, thrilling encounter, people would have assumed that you were either insane, or you were taking whatever Charlie Sheen was taking.

"I'm tellin' ya. Those O'Briens have tiger blood and Adonis DNA."
Of course, that doesn't seem as crazy now, since Ireland chased 328 against the same team that almost chased 338 against India. Now I don't really think this will be a huge problem for India, but I'm not ruling out an upset just because it's unlikely that lightning will strike the same place twice. It's just that India's bowlers are the type that hold lightning rods up to the sky. And my weak analogy is complete.

Anyway, KOB might have played a one-in-a-lifetime innings, but there are plenty of other capable fellas in that team, like Porterfield, Joyce and Niall O'Brien. It's got to be their batting, because these bowlers could be made to look like toys by the Indian batsmen. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to watch that, but now part of me wants Ireland to make it too. Dockrell could well be a star in the making, but tell that to Sehwag.

This game is also being played in Bangalore, land of thrilling encounters (based on one game). India will want to address their bowling issues - Chawla went for plenty against England and Munaf wasn't great either. Nehra might get a look-in at Munaf's expense, while I think Chawla should be persisted with. I wouldn't be surprised, however, to see Ashwin playing. Or even both Munaf and Nehra. I've no clue. The rest of the Indian order and the Irish team should be unchanged.

Ideal line-ups (for me):

India: Sehwag, Sachin, Gambhir, Kohli, Yuvraj, Dhoni (c)(wk), Yusuf, Chawla, Harbhajan, Zaheer, Nehra.

Ireland: Kevin O'Brien (x11).

No, I'm kidding. But that would be fun.

Ireland: Porterfield (c), Stirling, Joyce, N O'Brien (wk), K O'Brien, Cusack, Botha, Mooney, Johnston, Dockrell, Rankin.

Official-looking prediction: India to have moments of unease, but win easily in the end. Not as high-scoring as you'd think.

Who are India's missing pieces?

Wednesday, March 02, 2011 , , , , , , , , , , , No Comments


As the Irish cricketers closed in on a remarkable upset at Bangalore, one group of cricketers would have sat in their hotel rooms, watching the game with a mixture of glee and trepidation. For the Indian team, it must have been rewarding to see a team who had the gall to almost pull off a record chase against them the other night, go down against their traditional sporting rivals in another record chase. At the same time, the Indian bowling attack is no better than England’s right now. If the bowlers don’t get their act together in time, the likes of Joyce, Stirling, Mooney and the O’Brien brothers will feast on the offerings and give their team a chance to cause the biggest upset at all.

To avoid England’s ignominy, India will have to first figure out whether they need to play 4 or 5 specialist bowlers. Personally, I would hate to drop any of the batsmen given the form they are in; and it is not like 5 bowlers will guarantee success anyway. India’s 5th bowler options are not too bad; If Yuvraj, Pathan and Sehwag can bowl 10 overs among themselves and concede close to 50-55 runs while taking a couple of wickets, they have done their job. It is better to pick 4 of our best bowlers and form a bowling game plan around them. Of course, it is not ideal, but Dhoni will just have to make the most with the resources he’s got.
Even then, India have no idea who their best 4 bowlers are. Sreesanth might have just bowled himself out of future games after a horror game against Bangladesh, while Zaheer and Harbhajan will remain as the only first picks in the bowling line up. It leaves Munaf, Nehra, Chawla and Ashwin battling for the remaining two spots.

Munaf Patel has done a decent job in ODIs recently. He helped India to a thrilling one run victory in South Africa, and in the game against Bangladesh pulled things back a bit after Sreesanth’s opening spell. Against England though, he showed why it is a risk to trust him as your 2nd choice pacer. On flat wickets (which are the norm in this tournament) and against superior batsmen, he will be exposed for the moderately talented bowler that he is. After the way KOB feasted on the likes of Broad, Bresnan and Anderson, Munaf could turn out to be dessert for the Irish batsmen.

Ashish Nehra, on the other hand, has more pace while possessing a canny mind. He has been off the boil, in the last few series; but there is nothing like a World Cup to motivate a sportsman. He should know. He burst into national consciousness on a Durban night, when he decimated the English batsmen in a canny display of pace and swing. Of course, the conditions are different and his form is not the same; still, he would be a better choice than Munaf and Sreesanth. For bonus skills, he can strike a four in the last over of a close game to win the match!

Piyush Chawla has had a good return to the team. A surprise pick initially in the squad, he has gone on to become Dhoni’s preferred second spinner. He troubled Australia in friendly conditions in a warm-up, but when he came on to bowl on a flatter pitch with a big total to defend against England, he didn’t do much to inspire confidence. He did pick Trott’s wicket which was a big one, but subsequently did not trouble the rest and his final expensive over put paid to any hopes of a miraculous Indian win. Of course, it is harsh to drop him based on one game, but he needs to be consistent to warrant a fixed place in the team.

Ravichandran Ashwin is the least likely to get a look in, atleast for the next few games; but Dhoni will do well to remember that Ashwin has rarely let his team down when he has been called on. Seeing the way Ireland demolished the English bowling in the Power Play, it might not be a bad idea to bring Ashwin, who has become somewhat of a Power-play specialist. He can bat as well as Chawla too.

So, my choices for the game against Ireland would be Zaheer-Nehra-Harbhajan-Chawla. If that doesn’t enthuse the skipper, he might as well take a page out of South Africa’s book and play 3 spinners in Harbhajan, Chawla and Ashwin!

The Ian Bell Referral

Tuesday, March 01, 2011 , , , , , , No Comments

Haven't made one of these in a while (pronounced hhh-wile), and I also didn't feel like writing about that very irritating game. So yeah, it's pretty stupid. Basic meme knowledge also needed.