Showing posts with label england. Show all posts
Showing posts with label england. Show all posts

A short history of South Africa vs England at the Wanderers

Saturday, September 19, 2015 , , ,

On January 14, 2016, South Africa take on England at the Wanderers Stadium in Johannesburg - this is something that happens only every 5 years or so, and on this occasion it will have been 6 years since the last one. The Bullring, as the stadium is affectionately known, has staged some entertaining contests over the years even when they were one-sided. Here's a summary of how these matches have gone down since the Bullring's refurbishment in the early 1990s.



Hundreds from Gary Kirsten and Brian McMillan and a fantastic team bowling performance helped South Africa set England a massive 479 to win. Only Dominic Cork, who picked up 9 wickets in the match, threatened across both innings for England. Needing to survive just over 5 sessions, a draw wasn't beyond the realm of possibility, but at 145/4 on the fourth day, it didn't seem likely. Skipper Mike Atherton, however, produced one of the greatest innings of all time with his unbeaten 185 - he batted for close to 11 hours with vital contributions from Robin Smith (44) and and keeper Jack Russell, who batted four and a half hours for his 29, as England earned a hard-fought draw.

Atherton hooks during his innings of 185*

This wasn't much of a contest, really. England were four down for just two runs only 3 overs into the match, and were bowled out for 122 and 260 while South Africa racked up 403. Allan Donald and Shaun Pollock picked up 19 English wickets between them in a mesmerizing dual exhibition of pace and swing. Andrew Flintoff, rebel that he is, was dismissed by Paul Adams as South Africa won by an innings and 21 runs.

Allan Donald appeals

A much more competitive run-fest followed at the Bullring this time around. An opener was the top scorer and anchor in each of the four innings - Andrew Strauss (147), Herschelle Gibbs (161), Marcus Trescothick (180) and Gibbs again (98) scored freely as the Test appeared to be heading for a draw, but it was a bowler who changed the course of the game. Matthew Hoggard ran through South Africa with his masterful swing, taking 7-61 to take his tally for the match to 12 wickets, giving England a 77-run win with only 7 overs to go.

Matthew Hoggard takes Graeme Smith down

This time, the Wanderers was the stage of the series finale, the fourth Test of a four-Test series, and South Africa went into it holding a 1-0 deficit, thus needing to win to avoid a series loss at home. It turned out to be a relatively easy task as they wrapped it up with 5 sessions to go, winning by an innings and 74 runs. Paul Collingwood was England's lone positive from this match, topscoring in both innings (more remarkable in the second innings when he made 71 and the next highest was Strauss' 22), supported for a while by hit-and-giggle cameos from the lower order. For South Africa, Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel took 14 wickets between them, but it was an efficient team effort overall.

Dale Steyn mid-leap
Two top teams, the world-best fast bowler, some of the world's best young cricketers - these all add up to eye-catching cricket, this is not a tour you'd want to miss.

Contest
Thanks to the Bidvest Wanderers, I have 2 tickets to the Test between South Africa and England at the Bullring! It starts January 14, 2016, and if you're planning to head down to Johannesburg to catch the action, this is a good opportunity to get your hands on the tickets (of which there aren't many left).

To enter, send an email to cricketnerdblog@gmail.com with "Wanderers Contest" as the subject, and include your name in the message. For an extra entry in the contest, tweet about this article (with a link) and add your Twitter handle in the message when you send the email entry.


England win the Ashes as Australia disappoint on foreign soil once again

Friday, August 21, 2015 , ,

England eased to victory in the 2015 Ashes Test series after winning three of the first four matches, ensuring that they take an unassailable lead into the final Test of the series. The final clash is underway at the iconic Kia Oval, home of Surrey County Cricket Club. The Aussies were heavy favourites going into the tournament and were odds on with most major bookmakers to retain the Ashes after England endured a topsy-turvy few months prior to the series.


 by  mertie. 

However, Trevor Bayliss took over as head coach and has been an inspiration since arriving at the helm back in May. England's big players have all produced match-winning performances throughout the series and pressure has been lifted off captain Alastair Cook. As good as the hosts were, Australia were extremely poor and they will be very disappointed to lose the Ashes after whitewashing England 5-0 in the last series. Michael Clarke was especially poor and the captain has announced his international retirement after the final Test of the series next week.

Worryingly for Australia, they have failed to win an Ashes series on English soil since 2001 - a run of four consecutive series defeats. While this isn't necessarily a problem in terms of personnel, defeats outside of Australia will continue to play a key role in psychological preparation for future cricket matches in other countries. For many years, the Wallabies were the dominant force in cricket. Nowadays, they have slipped down to second behind South Africa in the world rankings and will be nervously looking over their shoulders at the likes of Pakistan and India who aren't too far behind and have played fewer matches in 2015.

  
by  Airwolfhound 


While the 2015 Ashes series was a complete disaster for Australia, all hope is not lost. They still possess a talented side but are clearly lacking confidence away from their native land. In fact, the Wallabies remain the best side in the world in one-day cricket and will fancy their chances of success at the 2016 ICC World Twenty20 tournament next spring. Australia will be one of the bookmakers favourites to succeed and you can keep up with all of the latest cricket odds and news ahead of the tournament's opening fixture on 11th March.


For England, meanwhile, they will enjoy their latest success but will know just how important preparation will be for next year's World Cup in India. While Twenty20 cricket isn't England's strongest form of the sport, they will be eager to make a huge statement of intent and could reach the latter stages of the event if they perform at their very best. With Twenty20 star Kevin Pietersen currently out of the team due to a difference of opinion, it will be interesting to see if Bayliss can convince him and Strauss to settle their problems ahead of the tournament. England impressed in the one-day international series with New Zealand and - although we are yet to see if Alastair Cook will stand down from his post as captain - will be full of confidence heading into next year's Twenty20 competition.

Translating Media Reactions to England's Struggles

Wednesday, February 25, 2015 ,


The World Cup remains young. And yet, if any team has already damaged itself beyond repair, it's England. The English have had a truly sorry showing to date, and as shown clearly in the official pool standings, they now sit at fifth place in the viciously competitive Pool A. While English sports fans are unmatched in their ability to self-deprecate - often in an almost admirable fashion - it seems the media has thus far failed to capture the full scope or severity of the nation's World Cup meltdown.

Fortunately, we're here to do it for them! So without further ado, here are some honest and cynical translations of the media's coverage of the English team's performance so far.

We'll start with an early betting analysis that took an objective look at England's chances for success. Posted at Bet Fair by cricket writer Ralph Ellis just after England suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of Australia, the article pointed to England's "captain crisis" as a reason for its struggles. The piece even suggested that former English captain Alastair Cook may have been better after all (despite being brutally and continuously criticized by the British media) than newcomer Eoin Morgan. Ellis writes, "Whatever his failings as one day captain, Cook never suffered a run as bad as the one that his replacement is on now."

Translation: Fine! We admit it! We were wrong! Alastair Cook isn't perfect, but damned if he's not the best man we've got for the job! He's like the Wayne Rooney of English cricket, and that's better than nothing! For the love of God, STRIP EOIN MORGAN OF HIS CAPTAINCY BEFORE WE EMBARRASS OURSELVES!
Eoin Morgan

Next, we'll look at a somewhat sad article that was written by Mike Selvey of The Guardian about English cricket coach Peter Moores' having felt compelled to apologise for his side's play. Indeed, the two crushing defeats England suffered to start its World Cup run demanded an explanation, but it almost seems unfair for the coach to have to answer that demand when play between the lines was so disastrously lopsided. In analysing the losses, before he got to Moores' quotes, Selvey wrote, "England though were dismal, a collective failure to cope with conditions in which they, of all teams, ought to be able to cope."

Translation: You're damn right the head coach should apologise! How on Earth can a team with England's talent and experience show up to these conditions unprepared? Are they lazy? Unfocused? Is there any excuse whatsoever?

And finally, we'll come to a sort of match recap of the New Zealand dismantling of the English cricket squad, posted by former star Sir Ian Botham at Mirror. Evidently utterly disgusted by England's performance, Botham pulled no punches in expressing his discontent, beginning his column with: "In nearly 40 years of playing for and watching England in one day cricket, I have not seen a worse performance than the one I saw in Wellington on Friday."

Translation... You know what? Never mind. Botham pretty much said it all, about as harshly as it can be said.

Ladies and gentlemen, your British sports media and 2015 English World Cup squad!


Ashes 2013: Player ratings for the series (Part 1)

Thursday, August 29, 2013 , , ,


So, the Ashes are over, huh?
Nope. There's already a sequel in the works, to be released in winter this year. Much like the Saw franchise, the last good sequel came in 2005 and every further installment has just been really gory.

No more excellent analogies for now, I'll just skip right ahead to the player ratings. Oh, and congratulations to Ian Bell England, I guess.

England

9.5 - Ian Bell (562 runs at 62.44, 100 x 3, 50 x 2)
With an added layer of steel, Ian Bell is less Sherminator and more Sledgehammer of Eternal Justice. In other words, glorious to watch for a longer period of time than usual. In this series though, he was the ginger Atlas of England's batting order. Any time Australia threatened to get ahead, Bell was there to thwart them, yell "not today!" and slap them in the face.

"It's the Bell-signal. I've gotta go, they need me."
8.0 - Stuart Broad (22 wickets at 27.45, 2 x 5w, 179 runs at 25.57, 50 x 1)
The walking controversy (Walkgate? Nickgate? Broadwalk Umpire?) aside, it was a very fine series for Stuart Broad. Despite a good showing, he didn't take many wickets in the first Test but made up for it in the next few. He was a constant threat and was perhaps solely responsible for not allowing Michael Clarke to get going.

7.5 - Kevin Pieterson (388 runs at 38.8, 100 x 1, 50 x 2)
Wasn't at his most consistent, but scored vital runs when England needed him most, particularly in Manchester where only the rain played a bigger part in denying Australia a victory. Capped the series with two hugely different fifties (the second had a 75% higher strike rate than the first) at the Oval to (a) ensure that England remained unbeaten and (b) almost snatch a win.

7.5 - James Anderson (22 wickets at 29.59, 2 x 5w)
Jimmy took half of his series tally in the first Test, which is the best way to describe his performance. He had a couple of indifferent Tests and was quite good otherwise without a big haul, he was outstanding at Trent Bridge, only slightly upstaged by a teenaged Australian debutant.

James Anderson also fought in Vietnam. He looked different then.
7.5 - Graeme Swann (26 wickets at 29.03, 2 x 5w, 126 runs at 25.20)
A half-decent spinner was always going to make Australia sweat, so it's no surprise that Swann comfortably ended up as the highest wicket taker on either side without looking his best. His biggest haul of the series (9 wickets) did result in England's biggest win of the series, though.

7.0 - Tim Bresnan (10 wickets at 29.60, 103 runs at 25.75)
Bresnan fulfilled the role of a fourth bowler to perfection. He didn't release any of the pressure created by England's strike bowlers, and his accuracy coupled with reverse swing brought about a few wickets of his own. That might be too light for praise, actually - only Stuart Broad had a better strike rate for England.

6.0 - Joe Root (339 runs at 37.66, 100 x 1, 50 x 1)
Being in a settled, winning side has allowed Root to plant himself at the top of the order for a while. He failed to get going more often than not, but the 180 at Lord's was a glimpse of what could be, and the odd wickets he gets are more than useful. Slightly above "useful" but not quite "maybe we shouldn't pick Swanny". Another stint in the middle order should do it.

5.0 - Alastair Cook (277 runs at 27.70, 50 x 3)
The captain gets 5 points for... well, just for being the captain of the winning team. He did take the most catches (7) by a non-'keeper in this series after all! (no, that's not a record). Even after being sorted out by the Aussie bowling attack, he managed three fifties. He also had the lowest strike rate (36.39) by any batsman from either side. And speaking of low strike rates...

4.0 - Jonathan Trott (293 runs at 29.30, 50 x 2)
*yawn* Very modest series by his standards, won't go this long without - *zzzzz*

3.5 - Jonny Bairstow (203 runs at 29.00, 50 x 1)
Managed a solitary (yet important) 67 at Lord's in the company of Bell, was a bit of a walking wicket otherwise. Finally got dropped for the final Test as England decided that two mediocre debutants would be more useful than him.

3.0 - Matthew Prior (133 runs at 19.00)
Despite batting at #7, England did need him to score at several points during the series as their middle order did the bulk of the scoring. Didn't really look out of form but just didn't score. Doesn't have a fifty in his last 13 innings, but it'll still be a while before he has to fight for his place.

1.5 - Steven Finn (2 wickets at 58.50)
Sprayed it aplenty and dropped down the pecking order pretty quickly as a result.

1.0 - Chris Woakes (1 wicket at 96.00)
Not a great debut - unable to keep a lid on the rampaging Watson in the first innings and didn't even get to bowl in the second. Scored a handy 25 to keep Australia at bay though.

Unrated - Simon Kerrigan (8 filthy overs)
Actually, the way he was treated in his only Test was sort of R rated.

That look hasn't left his face since The Oval. Pray for him.

Part 2 to follow. In a creepy unmarked van.


Gif of the day: Trottshot

Sunday, December 16, 2012 , , , ,

England are trotting to a series victory.


Promo: Pitch Imperfect

Sunday, December 09, 2012 , ,

Fact: Two minutes into opening Photoshop, I realized that this wasn't particularly worth it.

Don't worry, I'm as horrified as you are.

(Here's the real movie)

Click to enlarge.


Gif of the day: Umpires

Monday, November 26, 2012 , , , , ,

Umpires, Y U NO competent?

I know this clip isn't from a recent Test. Still awful though.

Thanks to Robelinda for the video (and countless others).



If there's a gif you'd like to see, write it down in the comments, and I'll get on it ASAP. Link to a video if possible, to make it a simpler process.

Promo: India vs England (The Grudge)

Wednesday, November 14, 2012 , , , ,

Of course it's about vengeance. It's creepy that Cook works so well as the creepy Japanese kid, guyliner and all.


Comic: The Broad Review

Monday, October 01, 2012 , , , ,

KP had the X-Factor. He knows this because his mate Piers Morgan told him so.

Click to enlarge.


Comic: A Brief Preview of South Africa vs England

Monday, July 16, 2012 , , , , , ,

Strange question to ask your nemesis, really.

I actually do think Vern and those perfect balls will be a handful for Cook, considering Praveen Kumar got him a few times in that Eng vs Ind series I'm not allowed to talk or think about anym - what just happened I think I blacked out and why is there a dart sticking out of my neck...


India vs England: The good, the bad, and the slightly unattractive

Saturday, October 29, 2011 , , , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

Personally, I love my metaphors on a plate.

Apparently, we have been avenged.

For me, it's only close to 30% done - because Tests do matter that much.

But I'll take the 5-0, mostly because it was fun to watch the English team constantly complain about the cold dish they were being served. (See picture above)

Anyway, here's what we learned from this series:


  • Even if you hate Ravindra Jadeja (which you probably do), you have to admit that he really has worked hard, and is now the ideal all-round option for India, given the lack of Irfan Pathan other options. He was the highest wicket-taker in the series, with 11, and an average of 17. With the bat, he averaged 37 from 3 innings with a good lower-order strike-rate of 110. He isn't going to single-handedly win you one in fifteen games like Yusuf Pathan, but he's pretty steady. For now.
  • Ashwin, unlike Harbhajan, takes wickets. One Challenger Trophy won't save you, Bhaj.
  • Selection is still weird. Why on earth would you have Rahane open, when there's no way he can bat in the top 3 in a full-strength XI? He did well enough, but from his innings of 91, he looks like a much better middle-order batsman to me.
  • Take Vinay Kumar's 4-30 away, and in the four other games he gave away 150 runs in 24 overs, taking just 2 wickets. Really shouldn't be a regular in the side.
  • Umesh Yadav was erratic too, but his pace was clearly an asset at several points in the series. I'd keep him around. And what a great debut for Varun Aaron!
  • The world's #1 spinner fails at the home of spin? What's that about? Swann took only 2 wickets at 95.5, conceding 5.3 rpo.
  • It's all #trottsfault, for scoring 202 runs at 50.5, at a strike rate a shade under 80.
  • Virat Kohli (270 runs @90) doesn't know what ugly batting is. Dhoni (212 runs, not dismissed), on the other hand, knows it better than anyone else, and excels at it.
  • Parthiv Patel had a rare bad series since his comeback, but no one cares since he's just a stop-gap opener, like Dinesh Karthik before him. This can't happen to Rahane, which, again, is why he should be in the middle-order. Unless someone retires from ODIs soon.
  • Do English fans feel the same way about Dernbach as I do about Vinay Kumar?
Took me five minutes just to decide whether to put the comma after "bitch".

Series against Windies coming soon, I'll be back.

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The grudge series

Friday, October 14, 2011 , , , , , , , No Comments

This is probably a day late, but what the hell. MS wants that revenge.

Click to enlarge.



It's Over.

Saturday, September 17, 2011 , , , , No Comments

Wow, he changes really quick.

Click to enlarge. Or if that doesn't work, right click and select 'open image in new tab'.


The Review

Friday, September 16, 2011 , , , , No Comments

And we get two of these? Nice!

Click to enlarge.


England vs India: Player Ratings for the series (Part 2)

Friday, September 09, 2011 , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

England's side of the ratings, which were a lot easier to do. If only I could rate them by the quality of their tweets.

9.5 - Stuart Broad (182 runs @60.66 and 25 wickets @13.84): Close to being dropped. Fuller lengths. Vital lower-order runs. Near-perfect series. Next Botham. Yawn, you know the whole story because everyone's already harped about it. It's a fairy tale all right, and Stuey is the princess.

"Did you take my glass slipper, mate?"
9.0 - Kevin Pietersen (533 runs @106.6): Found his best form almost immediately, capitalising on Zaheer's absence in the first Test to score a double hundred. He was pretty much unstoppable from that point on, notching up another hundred and a couple more fifties.

"He attacked me, took his mojo back, and then took mine too..."

8.5 - Ian Bell (504 runs @84): Batted beautifully all series (even during his solitary duck), and looked more deserving of the Zaltzman-coined nickname "Sledgehammer of Eternal Justice" than "the Sherminator". His best innings came at #3, but he's no slouch at #5 either, and his Test average is now almost 50 (who'da thunk it). Points off for lack of brain cells - you know what I'm talking about.

8.5 - Tim Bresnan (154 runs @77 and 16 wickets @16.31): It took an injury to Chris Tremlett for him to even get into the side, and he grabbed the chance with the strength of a man who knows his way around a plate of fish and chips (what?). And why doesn't he have an American Pie-inspired nickname like Belly does? It seems more appropriate.

8.5 - James Anderson (21 wickets @25.71): Bowled well enough to get other people to call him the best quick in the world, conveniently making them forget Dale Steyn in the process. The phrase "has the ball on a string" was used plenty of times, planting in my head images of him bowling with a yo-yo. Either way, he troubled every batsman except probably Praveen Kumar, who has no knowledge of the concept, or any concepts, when he bats.

The first search result for James Anderson in Google Images.

8.0 - Matt Prior (271 runs @67.75): Did almost nothing wrong in the series - great keeping, quick scoring (SR of 85), and is now regarded as the best keeper-batsman in the world. That is, in Tests - there are somewhere between 3 and 7.2 million keeper-batsmen in England's limited-overs teams. They have come a long way since Geraint Jones and Chris Read.

6.5 - Chris Tremlett (4 wickets @31): Bowled well enough in his only game to take 4 wickets, but his injury was probably a good thing for England. It's going to be tough for him to get back into the side, with his limited batting abilities.

5.0 - Graeme Swann (13 wickets @40.69): It was turning out to be a horrific series for him - the #1 spinner had been the weak link in England's attack for the first three Tests. Even after his match-winning nine-wicket haul, those aren't great numbers, which should give you a fair idea of how bad he was initially. If I was a bad comic, I'd even say that he was "the ugly duckling" for three games before he became Swann. Thankfully, I'm not.

5.0 - Alistair Cook (348 runs @58): Very ordinary series for Cook, especially after his Ashes purple patch. Praveen Kumar and Ishant had him hopping around for most of the series, with just the one monumental 294 to prop him up. Sort of like a kid who spends all his money on one eyeliner.

5.0 - Ravi Bopara (51 runs @51): Barely got a chance to show everyone what he's all about. He could be getting Morgan's spot soon, though.

4.5 - Eoin Morgan (194 runs @32.33): Just doesn't look like a Test batsman. Managed a hundred and a fifty, to his credit, but better bowling attacks (and any other spinners, really) will have his number. But if Raina can play Tests, why not this guy?

4.0 - Andrew Strauss (229 runs @38.16): Waning powers and all. Looked willing (amidst great discomfort) to battle it out to stick around, but needed more runs, especially considering the firepower that lay in the middle order. When you're in trouble against Sreesanth, you know you're in a rut.

4.0 - Jonathan Trott (98 runs @24.5): Decent 70 to start off the series, followed by injury and withdrawal. Sometimes a summary of events is enough.

Note: Wrote this a week ago, forgot to publish it somehow. Busy, busy week.

England vs India: Player ratings for the series (Part 1)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011 , , , , , No Comments

So, it's over. The series, the #1 ranking, and the bubble of unquestionable success that enveloped India after the World Cup win.

It's just one bad series, India may just continue to win from this point, but this still happened. Their best performances with the bat all series came in the final two innings, but were still nowhere near enough what was needed to even save the game.

There will be some sort of official review by the BCCI, and maybe it will reveal that they are coneheads, maybe it won't.

Srikkanth looked quite effeminate before the beard.
Speaking of reviews (because I like good transitions, unlike Indian cricket), here's my bit. No haggling on these marks (out of 10).

India

10 - Praveen Kumar (15 wickets @29.53): Performed exactly how we expected him to perform - whole-heartedly. Light on pace, he made up for it with magnanimous swing and superb control in conditions that suited him perfectly. He bowled 158 overs, second to Ishant only because he missed the final Test after bowling himself into the ground. He also scored 110 entertaining runs with a strike rate of 105, including an unforgettable 40 off 18 balls.

"Lemme at 'em!" - Praveen Kumar
9.0 - Rahul Dravid (461 runs @76.83): The Wall was as Wall-ish as he had ever been, carrying his re-discovered form over from the West Indian tour. He was India's rescue team in every game, and would have scored even more if not for a couple of dubious decisions, and if someone had stuck around with him. I can't believe people wanted him to retire just a few months ago - he still has the most interesting defense in the world. I cut a whole mark for terrible catching.

"No. I won't go back in. I want to bat some more."
6.5 - Ishant Sharma (11 wickets @58.18): This guy, who turns 23 in 10 days, was forced to co-lead a three-man attack twice in two Tests, and sort of in the other Tests too, when Mishra was as effective as a solar-powered torch. There were some menacing spells in the 173 overs he bowled, but these were often separated by some listless periods of spraying it around. He's getting better though, and missing the ODIs is the best thing for him right now.

5.5 - Sachin Tendulkar (273 runs @34.12): Just a couple of fifties in 8 innings, and a very below-par series for the man, despite not looking as uncomfortable as some of his teammates. Could have saved the last Test and got himself that century of centuries, but neither was meant to be, despite it looking that way when luck was going his way. I'm now doubting that he'll ever score that hundred, stuck on 99 for eternity with that one Bradmanesque flaw. Man, that was poetic.

5.0 - Yuvraj Singh (70 runs @35): Middling marks for him, because he played just the one Test, which portrayed both his weaknesses and strengths. He was pretty lucky to get that one fifty, too.

5.0 - Zaheer Khan (2 wickets @9): Had the ball on a string in that first session at Lord's. His subsequent injury ensured that all hell broke loose as far as India's bowling was concerned. Needs body parts like Iron Man, and must walk around in a Hazmat suit until it's safe for India to play without him.

4.0 - MS Dhoni (220 runs @31.41): His first series defeat as captain, and he has really been defeated. Things didn't go his way one bit, his keeping, while good enough in the subcontinent, was shown up, and so was his batting technique. He's got to attack when he bats, even if it leads to a dismissal, because it's quite simply the only way he can bat. It's not the same question of responsible batting that crops up with Sehwag - MS clearly must bat this way, at least in Tests. Also, what's with the 'no third man' field?

3.5 - Sreesanth (8 wickets @61.62): Started so well with those three wickets before he started getting whipped. His lovely outswinger was present, but it failed to trouble batsmen who were in the form of their lives. Bowled 111 overs in three matches, and looked flat for around 90 of those. Time to give other bowlers a go, because this guy's going nowhere.

Now it's OK to cry.
3.5 - VVS Laxman (182 runs @22.75): Very very disappointing, to say the least. He was successfully targeted with the short ball, but was also unlucky to be at the receiving end of some unplayable deliveries. Like Bell, he is a natural #3 who got to bat at that position due to injuries to others. Unlike Bell, he didn't make the most of it. I'm pretty sure that he made the least of it, if that phrase ever catches on. How much longer is he going to play Tests - no one ever talks about this.

3.5 - Gautam Gambhir (102 runs @17): He gets all these marks just for the cojones to bat injured, concussed or in a coma or whatever bad luck befell him at that point. Played loose shots after getting starts when he was fit. Screw KKR, man - you need to be fit for Australia.

2.5 - Suresh Raina (105 runs @13.12): If you take away the 78 he scored at Lord's, he made only 27 runs in the other 7 innings. Problems with the short ball, problems with spin... he was useful in one department though. He took 4 wickets, more than either Harby or Mishra. Maybe let him cook until well done in county cricket or something, with Pujara, Kohli and Rohit lurking.

2.0 - Abhinav Mukund (64 runs @16): Considering that the West Indian bowlers had him hopping around, his out-of-depth batting and failure in England comes as a surprise only to optimistic blind people. He can either tighten his game or remain a domestic bully.

"What? Mukund failed? What's a Mukund?"
2.0 - RP Singh (wicketless): Fitting, because this is RP 2.0, if upgrade actually meant severe downgrade. He won't be happy about being plucked from Miami or wherever he was. We weren't happy either. None of that great movement from four years ago, no pace - just a little control that didn't mean much because he got tonked anyway.

1.5 - Amit Mishra (3 wickets @106.67): Marks just for that superb innings that drew everyone into watching the game, only to get out leaving us to witness a horrific collapse. Thanks a lot. I wouldn't pick him in Tests ever again, not with Ojha around.

1.0 - Virender Sehwag (41 runs @10.25): Played when he was still unfit and bagged a historic king pair. It's just one bad series for him, there's no need to panic, but will he ever be fit enough again?

0.0 - Harbhajan Singh (2 wickets at 143.5): New low for him. No words for how utterly useless he was. In retrospect, "no words for how utterly useless he was" were actually words for how utterly useless he was. Right, I'm done.

Coming up, part 2, featuring England.

That's not funny, MS

Wednesday, August 17, 2011 , , , , , , , No Comments

Not much to say at this point.
Except, click to enlarge.


England vs India: Halfway series review

Sunday, August 07, 2011 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

It would be the understatement of understatements to say that the series has been full of action so far, but that doesn't stop anyone from saying it either way.

Such competitive pitches... it could have been so much more than the one-sided whipping it has turned out to be. The first session at Lord's is proof of that. And then, like Dhoni said, everything that could go wrong, did.

The tour began without Sehwag; Zaheer, Gambhir, Sachin, Yuvraj and Harbhajan filled up the sick room pretty quickly, igniting my suspicion that the physio gives them a complimentary paratha or something after each visit.

I reserve high praise for Praveen Kumar and Ishant Sharma, both of whom have bowled way too many overs than advisable. Ishant has put in 105.2 overs, still fewer than PK, who at 118.3, has bowled around twice as many overs as Harbhajan Singh. More praise, of course, for Dravid, who has scored more than twice as many runs as any other Indian batsman on this tour.

Sachin and Laxman have looked at ease without pushing on; Mukund has, as predicted, been a walking wicket - his initial struggle in the West Indies was a flashing neon sign indicating the same. Yuvraj and Raina have contributed ultimately inconsequential half-centuries. And to round up, Dhoni is having a horror series - he has done absolutely nothing right, in any department of the game. If Sachin and Warne get the fairytale scripts, Dhoni's got this tour's story from Wes Craven (Wiki it).

England, meanwhile, haven't been perfect (but very close to it). Cook and Strauss haven't got going, and Swann has been carted around in his half-fit state. They've been on the back foot one or two times, but they haven't allowed themselves to be backed into a corner - they've counter-attacked with aplomb. Mr. Anderson, Broad Jr. and Bresnan have all got a five-for to their name.

India's second practice game didn't really help them in any way. Gambhir, Sehwag, Raina and Dhoni didn't get the runs, Mukund (who isn't expected to play the third Test) hit a quick hundred. Zaheer Khan, for yet unknown reasons, bowled only three overs. Mishra, the second spinner in the squad, was expensive again, just like in the first practice game. So, don't expect any comebacks, Sehwag or no Sehwag. The two batsmen who can win a Test are the fit and in-form ones - Dravid, Sachin and Laxman. And Ojha must play.

Preferred XI: Sehwag, Gambhir, Dravid, Sachin, Laxman, Kohli, Dhoni, PK, Ishant, Ojha, Sreesanth.
Probable XI: Same, but with Raina and Mishra.

Possibility of India remaining #1 after the next two Tests: see image.


The Trent Bridge gym leader's weakness

Thursday, July 28, 2011 , , , , , , , No Comments

The 2nd Test starts tomorrow at Trent Bridge. Zaheer's fitness is crucial. If only it were this simple.


To infinity... and back. Abruptly.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011 , , , , , , No Comments

Q: How dumb is this?
A1) On a scale of 1-10, it's a 14.
A2) It isn't. It's brilliant.
A3) You should have your photoediting software taken away.

I stopped reviewing the first match of any Test series a long time ago.


The fact that India lost elicits this response: