England's side of the ratings, which were a lot easier to do. If only I could rate them by the quality of their tweets.
9.5 - Stuart Broad (182 runs @60.66 and 25 wickets @13.84): Close to being dropped. Fuller lengths. Vital lower-order runs. Near-perfect series. Next Botham. Yawn, you know the whole story because everyone's already harped about it. It's a fairy tale all right, and Stuey is the princess.
9.0 - Kevin Pietersen (533 runs @106.6): Found his best form almost immediately, capitalising on Zaheer's absence in the first Test to score a double hundred. He was pretty much unstoppable from that point on, notching up another hundred and a couple more fifties.
8.5 - Ian Bell (504 runs @84): Batted beautifully all series (even during his solitary duck), and looked more deserving of the Zaltzman-coined nickname "Sledgehammer of Eternal Justice" than "the Sherminator". His best innings came at #3, but he's no slouch at #5 either, and his Test average is now almost 50 (who'da thunk it). Points off for lack of brain cells - you know what I'm talking about.
8.5 - Tim Bresnan (154 runs @77 and 16 wickets @16.31): It took an injury to Chris Tremlett for him to even get into the side, and he grabbed the chance with the strength of a man who knows his way around a plate of fish and chips (what?). And why doesn't he have an American Pie-inspired nickname like Belly does? It seems more appropriate.
8.5 - James Anderson (21 wickets @25.71): Bowled well enough to get other people to call him the best quick in the world, conveniently making them forget Dale Steyn in the process. The phrase "has the ball on a string" was used plenty of times, planting in my head images of him bowling with a yo-yo. Either way, he troubled every batsman except probably Praveen Kumar, who has no knowledge of the concept, or any concepts, when he bats.
8.0 - Matt Prior (271 runs @67.75): Did almost nothing wrong in the series - great keeping, quick scoring (SR of 85), and is now regarded as the best keeper-batsman in the world. That is, in Tests - there are somewhere between 3 and 7.2 million keeper-batsmen in England's limited-overs teams. They have come a long way since Geraint Jones and Chris Read.
6.5 - Chris Tremlett (4 wickets @31): Bowled well enough in his only game to take 4 wickets, but his injury was probably a good thing for England. It's going to be tough for him to get back into the side, with his limited batting abilities.
5.0 - Graeme Swann (13 wickets @40.69): It was turning out to be a horrific series for him - the #1 spinner had been the weak link in England's attack for the first three Tests. Even after his match-winning nine-wicket haul, those aren't great numbers, which should give you a fair idea of how bad he was initially. If I was a bad comic, I'd even say that he was "the ugly duckling" for three games before he became Swann. Thankfully, I'm not.
5.0 - Alistair Cook (348 runs @58): Very ordinary series for Cook, especially after his Ashes purple patch. Praveen Kumar and Ishant had him hopping around for most of the series, with just the one monumental 294 to prop him up. Sort of like a kid who spends all his money on one eyeliner.
5.0 - Ravi Bopara (51 runs @51): Barely got a chance to show everyone what he's all about. He could be getting Morgan's spot soon, though.
4.5 - Eoin Morgan (194 runs @32.33): Just doesn't look like a Test batsman. Managed a hundred and a fifty, to his credit, but better bowling attacks (and any other spinners, really) will have his number. But if Raina can play Tests, why not this guy?
4.0 - Andrew Strauss (229 runs @38.16): Waning powers and all. Looked willing (amidst great discomfort) to battle it out to stick around, but needed more runs, especially considering the firepower that lay in the middle order. When you're in trouble against Sreesanth, you know you're in a rut.
4.0 - Jonathan Trott (98 runs @24.5): Decent 70 to start off the series, followed by injury and withdrawal. Sometimes a summary of events is enough.
Note: Wrote this a week ago, forgot to publish it somehow. Busy, busy week.
9.5 - Stuart Broad (182 runs @60.66 and 25 wickets @13.84): Close to being dropped. Fuller lengths. Vital lower-order runs. Near-perfect series. Next Botham. Yawn, you know the whole story because everyone's already harped about it. It's a fairy tale all right, and Stuey is the princess.
 |
| "Did you take my glass slipper, mate?" |
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| "He attacked me, took his mojo back, and then took mine too..." |
8.5 - Ian Bell (504 runs @84): Batted beautifully all series (even during his solitary duck), and looked more deserving of the Zaltzman-coined nickname "Sledgehammer of Eternal Justice" than "the Sherminator". His best innings came at #3, but he's no slouch at #5 either, and his Test average is now almost 50 (who'da thunk it). Points off for lack of brain cells - you know what I'm talking about.
8.5 - Tim Bresnan (154 runs @77 and 16 wickets @16.31): It took an injury to Chris Tremlett for him to even get into the side, and he grabbed the chance with the strength of a man who knows his way around a plate of fish and chips (what?). And why doesn't he have an American Pie-inspired nickname like Belly does? It seems more appropriate.
8.5 - James Anderson (21 wickets @25.71): Bowled well enough to get other people to call him the best quick in the world, conveniently making them forget Dale Steyn in the process. The phrase "has the ball on a string" was used plenty of times, planting in my head images of him bowling with a yo-yo. Either way, he troubled every batsman except probably Praveen Kumar, who has no knowledge of the concept, or any concepts, when he bats.
 |
| The first search result for James Anderson in Google Images. |
8.0 - Matt Prior (271 runs @67.75): Did almost nothing wrong in the series - great keeping, quick scoring (SR of 85), and is now regarded as the best keeper-batsman in the world. That is, in Tests - there are somewhere between 3 and 7.2 million keeper-batsmen in England's limited-overs teams. They have come a long way since Geraint Jones and Chris Read.
6.5 - Chris Tremlett (4 wickets @31): Bowled well enough in his only game to take 4 wickets, but his injury was probably a good thing for England. It's going to be tough for him to get back into the side, with his limited batting abilities.
5.0 - Graeme Swann (13 wickets @40.69): It was turning out to be a horrific series for him - the #1 spinner had been the weak link in England's attack for the first three Tests. Even after his match-winning nine-wicket haul, those aren't great numbers, which should give you a fair idea of how bad he was initially. If I was a bad comic, I'd even say that he was "the ugly duckling" for three games before he became Swann. Thankfully, I'm not.
5.0 - Alistair Cook (348 runs @58): Very ordinary series for Cook, especially after his Ashes purple patch. Praveen Kumar and Ishant had him hopping around for most of the series, with just the one monumental 294 to prop him up. Sort of like a kid who spends all his money on one eyeliner.
5.0 - Ravi Bopara (51 runs @51): Barely got a chance to show everyone what he's all about. He could be getting Morgan's spot soon, though.
4.5 - Eoin Morgan (194 runs @32.33): Just doesn't look like a Test batsman. Managed a hundred and a fifty, to his credit, but better bowling attacks (and any other spinners, really) will have his number. But if Raina can play Tests, why not this guy?
4.0 - Andrew Strauss (229 runs @38.16): Waning powers and all. Looked willing (amidst great discomfort) to battle it out to stick around, but needed more runs, especially considering the firepower that lay in the middle order. When you're in trouble against Sreesanth, you know you're in a rut.
4.0 - Jonathan Trott (98 runs @24.5): Decent 70 to start off the series, followed by injury and withdrawal. Sometimes a summary of events is enough.
Note: Wrote this a week ago, forgot to publish it somehow. Busy, busy week.
